i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Be still, my beating vagina.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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