In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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