we have officially lost it.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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