It's like God shit irony all over that family
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
