areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
