This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
