She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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