I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
