I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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