Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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