I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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