I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Randomize
