69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
