she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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