I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Michael Bay diarrhea
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
