Ambien. No doubt about it.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
