Someone shit on the floor
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
