made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
