When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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