I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
