Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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