Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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