I got chris browned last night
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
i used baking grease as lip gloss
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
