I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
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