if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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