My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
