idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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