If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
