based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
