Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
