I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
