Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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