I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Randomize
