we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
