babies were throwing up all over the place
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
