You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
