Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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