marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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