Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Randomize
