honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
