He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
