I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
