Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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