dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
