is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize