I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
