im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
my liver is dry heaving
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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