do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
