We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
