Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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