I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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