dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Randomize
