Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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