i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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