LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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