Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
